A memo to my pets

**CrashSmAshley** 2011-02-18, 16:53

Dear Simon, you know you're my favorite...sometimes. When I grab your dishes in the morning and head off to the kitchen to clean and refill them you SCREAM with excitement. I get you're happy about fresh food and water and whatever meal has been prepared for you later that day, but noise complaints are not-so-happy. As an Amazon I get that you will "voice your opinion" now and then, but sometimes you're just too opinionated. Also, please stop aiming your butt at the dog and the floor. I'm sure neither appreciate it. You have a cage you're out of and playing on all day. Poop in there. Also, this food flinging fad has got to end. I know I've made a good meal when you sound like an alien mumbling nonsense as you dine, but when you shake your head from the "good-eats chills" you fling your meal everywhere. The walls now look like a Picasso painting. I sweep and mop and try to keep you area as clean as possible but you just throw your toys and food back on the ground and laugh. You're a parrot. I know you're smart; we have conversations. Please be a little more tidy.

Dear fish and frogs: You are normally well-behaved and a lot quieter than your sibling Simon, but lately you've been quite rude. I finally finished the fish tank and have the super-heavily planted tank I've always wanted. You guys seemed very happy too. Today was our first water change with all of these new plants and it was a bit difficult to say the least. I took out more water than normal (partially because I had to remove some of the minerals the plants had leftover) and I even took apart the filter, rinsed everything good and clean and set it back up. It runs like new again. After things had settled and you guys were feeling refreshed I threw in some blood worms as a treat for being so cooperative. Then it happened. Frogs, you went mad! When the bettas would try to take a worm from the pile on the ground you would push them away with your froggy flippers and gorge yourselves. RUDE. I had to take the turkey baster, suck a few away from you and feed the bettas myself so they could have a bite. When this was over, you bettas then proceeded to flare at me and let me know who's boss. After what I just did for you? RUDE. We'll see who gets the shrimp later tonight...oh, and one more thing: loaches, where did you go?! Your existence has become unknown. I know you guys are shy and love all the new plants, but give me some sort of sign that you are okay. When I was cleaning earlier I found you each behind your little piece of driftwood happily sucking away at the algae. You promptly disappeared once more when you noticed you had been spotted. RUDE.

You all fill my life with joy and I know it would be very boring without you. Most days you make me very happy, but on days like this I feel like putting you on Craigslist...yeah right! You know I'm kidding and love you all, but remember what I do for you that most people normally don't do (but should) with their pets. Love, Mom ♥